For all the Mothers out there. I know this is your life....A
far more accurate account of the events of that
bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's
been eating my porridge?'
Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair.
He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's
been eating my porridge?!?' he roars.
Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the
kitchen and yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do
I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy
Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone
in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee.
It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last
night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who
swept the floor in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear who
went out in the cold early morning air to fetch The
newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set
the damn table.
'It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned
the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.
'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-arses
downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy
presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to
say this once....
" I HAVEN'T MADE THE FRIGGING PORRIDGE YET!"
Enjoy your Sunday...